Funny Sms

1) Wats the height of innocense? A 12year old girl applies pimples cream on her breast!

2) Asif saw the question zodiac sign. He didnt know what it meant. So he turned back and saw that Ali had written Cancer. So he wrote AIDS.

3) Rahim And His Wife Went For a walk. Wife- Oh! Look at the dead bird! Rohim looked at the sky and said- where, where....

4) Mom- My dear son, why is your wife so silent.. Son- Nothing mom, she asked for lipstick, but I gave her a glue stick instead. That is why...!!

5) Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S? Bcoz people started licking the wrong side.

6) Women asked man who is travelling with six children, all these kids are urs?? No, i work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

7) Teacher: Why cows look depressedwhen they are milked? Student: Madam, if some1 press ur boobs for 2hrs & doesnt f**k u, then how do u feel??

8) Bride's dad hands a note the groom: "GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE". Groom gave another note back to him "CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN".

9) Girl: Xcuse me,brother. This is my seat. Boy: That's ok.But i'm not ur brother bcoz My father never touch ur mother. Girl:Sorry Darling!

10) Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives. 1st: How urs look like? 2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt urs? 1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!

11) Teacher: u know the importance ofperiod? Kid: Ya, once my sister said she hasmissed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

12) 1st sardar: Mumbai is the best city, ALL Free, Pickup, Drop, Food, Drink, Hotel even Sex. 2nd sardar:When did u go? 1st sardar:Not me, my wife went, she told me.

13) Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

14) boy:hapi birthday dia
girl:tx!wea z ma gift
boy:do u c dat BMW outside there?
girl:yes!yes!yes! thx u so much!
boy:i bought 4 u a toothbrush of de same COLOUR!

15) Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this right time we shud talk abt sex. Daughter: Sure mom, tell me wat u want to know. Mom:##??!!

16) In a physics class, the teacherboiled some water. When the water startee boiling & making a noise, he asked: Why is the water making this noise Johnny? JOHNNY:That's the germs screaming beforethey are boiled!

17) When I was interviewed for ajob, they asked how I´d feel about having a woman as my boss. I replied: Well,I´d feel right at home!

18) A mother waiting anxiously for her son on the last day of the term. MOM: At lgst you are home! Where is your report? SON: I haven't got it. MOM: How come? SON: I lent it to my friend. MOM: And why does need it? SON: He wants to scare his parents with it!

19) REPORTER: To what do you attribute your success? BUSINESSMAN: I decided to make a honest living and there isn´t much competition!

20) Difference between Good & Bad Girls. Good Girls open a few button in hot atmosphere. But the Bad Girls open all buttons to make the atmosphere hot

21) SON: What is the difference between confidence and confidential? FATHER: I know that you are my son, that is confidence. Your friend is also my son, that is confidential!

22) BOY: Mujhse shaadi karogi.. GIRL: Kyaaa?? BOY: Achhi film hai Naa.. GIRL: Kutte K Bachhe.. BOY: Wat?? GIRL: Kitne cute hote hai na

23) MAN: My family is like a nation. My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war and my daugher is foreign secretary. CO- WORKER: Sounds interesting! And what is your position? MAN: I'm the people. All I do is pay!

24) After a quarrel, wife said to husband: You know, I was a fool when I married you. Husband replied: Yes dear, but I was in love and didn´t notice!

25) Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order your choice from the menu and then look at the neighbouring table and wish you had ordered that!

26) When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.. Why should only i suffer!!!

27) A couple drove down the highway just a quarrel. Some pigs were passing by the road. Wife asked: Relatives of yours? Husbandreplied: Yeah, in-laws!

28) A frog phoned the psychic hotline and was told: You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you. FROG: This isgreat! Will I meet her in a party or what? PSYCHIC: No, next semester in her biology class!

29) Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose - your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don't have!

30) You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.